A Bad Feeling and Explanation

Feelings like the following I hesitate to put out there for people to see normally but when you have children you want to share most of your feelings with them so that if the worst ever happens they will have some sort of understanding. For the last 2 weeks I have had this recurring pain that appears from my left shoulder up my neck. It's a strange pain that is unfamiliar and very uncomfortable. It comes for only a short period and then goes away only to return seemingly without any common thread to its previous appearances. It's not predictable at all and worries me that there may be some sort of blockage in that area. I am ever mindful of my poor state of health and with Michael and Daddy both having blockage problems I just have to pray that I am overly concerned. I know the high risk I carry for stroke and/or heart attack. I plan on calling my doctor today and see what he thinks. The strange feeling I have comes from a combination of that pain and the recent peaceful feeling I have derived from successfully dealing with a lot of inner struggle. Suffice it to say that I hope and pray that I am wrong. I have 2 jobs that are uncompleted and will require much more work to see that they are finished to the satisfaction of my boss. I hope that he is willing to allow me to finish but I concede that he knows better what it will take to wind it up. I have put it on his agenda. I only want a record of my concerns here. I love my 2 sons more than I ever thought I could love anything and I cannot imagine a world without them. I know that they love me and should anything happen to me I am more concerned with how devastating it would be to them than I am of what would happen to me. Sorry for the downer to those of you who actually take the time to read my ramblings but it was something that needed to be said. Love Jeff