One of Those Nights...

Here lately I've had nights that really stink as far as getting any rest...It's been years since I have been able to sleep for more than 3-4 hours straight without waking. Usually I awaken hurting and have to sit on the edge of the bed for a few minutes to work out the kinks and then try to get some more sleep. The arthritis was bad enough but with arthritis you can get moving and it kind of loosens up a little...but this fibro thing...man!...pain I reckon!...every muscle in your body aches and your energy level is down to zero...I am on oxygen and a CPAP machine at night for my sleep apnea and that doesn't help either...I have never been able to lie right down and go to sleep....I hate the mask that I must put on and it still bothers me so I have to be very tired to get to sleep...Last night we got to bed about 9:30...I was up at 11:30....1:45....and 3:30....I finally gave up and got up in a chair at 7 am...The boyz both sleep with me....They can't sleep in their own rooms by themselves....Even if they start out like that eventually during the night they will end up with me...My youngest, Lennon is always afraid in other rooms in the house by himself...I asked him why he was afraid and he at first told me that he didn't know why....As I questioned him further he said "Because I am afraid I'll disappear!"...I assured him that he was safe in his own home and I'd certainly not let anything happen to him but then he said he had heard about Jessica Lunsford and she was in her own home yet she disappeared...Man! How can you convince a child amidst news like that?...I can understand now and it no longer troubles me in not knowing...The thing that really bothered me was that many times with an ADHD child not only are some things blown really out of proportion but ADHD is sometimes accompanied by some other disorder or form of it. I have 2 children with 2 different levels of ADHD and things work differently for both....One of my main worries was that one could be bipolar and that would develop into a totally different ballgame (I strongly suspect that their mother's problem is that she is bipolar...the symptoms fit!)...So far the doctor assures me that all the recent changes in our lives have probably magnified the ADHD symptoms but she feels sure that bipolar disorder hasn't reared it's ugly head ...yet!...Lennon is the most hyperactive-impulsive type of ADHD...This child consumes nearly my every waking moment...You have to push him through each day and each activity except for that which he really wants to do...And those activities are rare to say the least. He is my true test in life. Zak, on the other hand, isn't quite as impulsive but he has a healthy level of hyperactivity too...That mouth will run a mile a second and he gets goofy and tries his best to stir up trouble when that happens...Most times it doesn't take much to get Lennon going and then the war is on....Also they have the normal sibling rivalry things going on for their stages of development and that too has to be addressed...(Can anyone hear the clicking noise of the gun to my head?)....lol....Guess what?....The boyz are getting up and I must return to finish later....Pray for me always!...As I slowly drag myself into the den of death.