An earlier time

An earlier time
My autographed "Bobby Seale" copy

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The Key Tool to Survival

The key tool to surviving in this evil, materialistic world appears to be humor! One of the attributes of evil and/or materialism is stupidity and what better thing to laugh about than stupidity! I always tell my sons that stupidity is a choice. Ignorance is not knowing better...stupidity is knowing better and just not doing better. Trust me, our creator has created humor for a's a tool...USE IT! The boyz get upset when I laugh at something stupid they've done. They feel as if I am making fun of them. I make it a point to let them know that this is true but they had the CHOICE and it was a bad one so now they must correct it if they hope to gain my respect instead of my laughter. It works that way in the gain respect by making intelligent choices and are subject to ridicule by making the stupid ones. As in anything, there are exceptions to the rule. Some stupid choices result in harm to one's self and others. Using humor to make a point in a case like this goes back to using other words, it would be stupid to laugh at those choices. In situations like that I try to explain to the boyz that those result in a more serious and long term damage. I try to make them use their intelligence in the lighter situations...the result being that there will less of the more serious ones. Proper parenting is never easy and I don't profess to doing it properly. I am learning just as the boyz are. We all have work to do and we are all subject to the human nature we have been born with and that we have developed (whether conciously or not!). God has given us tools to use and in using them we find many times that the proper use of these tools is a developmental process! Humor is such a valuable tool! me it is the key tool to survival...Use it...God has a great sense of humor!...One need only look around at the actions of some of the humans he created! I am sure he laughs alot!...and shakes his head alot too!...Love to all -Jeff-

Saturday, January 27, 2007

The Fun Depot

I had to do was time for it...and it was fun! The Fun Depot...a place kids love and a place that parents are fleeced. It's a warehouse full of video games, go carts, mini bowling, and rock climbing! For a general fee they issue cards in encrements of hours so that kids can bounce from one game to the next while parents can either struggle to keep up with them or sit leisurely and watch the chaos. The catch is that the cards which kids swipe in the machines,(call it debit card training 101!), don't include all the machines! You see, some kids just like to play games but others are suckers for games that reward with something other than just a good time. Fun Depot is gracious!... to let you add money to those cards that will give you access to other games where kids receive tickets (the amount based on luck, skill, or type of game) and these tickets can be exchanged later for prizes (most of them small and cheap...the larger ones costing many tickets). This fast paced, spending and playing frenzy is right up my children's alley! For me it is a mixed taking them I am the coolest, most wonderful dad in the world and I do enjoy their smiles that result but it has a significant price to pay...physically, mentally, and financially! Last night I was surprised when Zak wanted to stay at home on the computer (he has his "My Space" page and friends he talks to there) and I ended up taking Lennon (he'll not let this opportunity go by for anything!). Zak stayed with his mother (Andrea) and I took Lennon. Turns out that everyone had a good time...even me!...I took my prtable dvd player and was able to catch a good old "Columbo" episode I had recorded! Turns out that everything has a price...even old TV series! Here's a couple of pictures for you!...Love to all -Jeff-

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

These kids!

Gotta love the things kids say sometimes! My youngest, Lennon, was on his way last night into the World Championship of Demons! He had tortured his brother endlessly, insulted his mother, and was trying to drive his father into either a Tibetan monestary or a Mexican prison! It was determined by Dad that he get into bed (which happens sometimes to habitual felons here at the rock!)...It was about 8:30 pm and his bedtime is 9:30 anyway, so it wasn't anything too far from normal.... Anyway...I was sitting at the computer as he got into bed. He was so apologetic saying "I'm so sorry won't happen again....give me a third chance!" (it would have been his fourth actually!) I explained to him that being sorry and saying so was all well and good but that he had committed the crime now he had to do the time. There was silence for a moment and then in a small quiet voice he said "Can't I just do community service?"...Lol!....Having him in bed WAS a community me!...Both my sons come up with so many funny things that they say so seriously and I just can't help but laugh no matter how stressed the situation. One time when they were but toddlers and still in car seats I had picked them up at the babysitter's having just got off from work. It was afternoon in the late spring and, after strapping Lennon in his car seat, a yellow jacket landed on his hand and stung him as he put his other hand on top of it! When he cried out Zachary asked what was wrong. I told him,"Lennon was stung by a bee....a yellow jacket!" That seemed to satisfy his curiosity. The next day after playing outside Zak came to me holding his arm. He had this sad look on his face as I asked him what was wrong. He said,"I got stung Daddy, by a bumble bee in a yellow raincoat!"....I guess that's the way I would have interpreted the term "yellow jacket" at that age too!....Another time Lennon was upset with me and told me he was "Gonna walk away from home!"...I said,"Don't you mean "run"?"...He said,"No...I'm gonna walk!"....Lennon comes up with alot of them and he is soooo serious...He was upset at me one day when he was about 6 years old and sat down in a diningroom chair...With his arms crossed and a frown on his face he stated angrily,"I'm not gonna do my homework, I'm not gonna eat my supper...I'm gonna go live with the devilman!"...Gee!...there are times I'd have to feel sorry for that devilman!....nah!...guess not! would be all that he deserved! to all!...-Jeff-

Saturday, January 20, 2007

The Beatles are driving me crazy!

Anyone that knows me for any length of time knows what a Beatle fan I youngest son is named Lennon!...You don't get much more of a fan than that! For the last 43 years of my life I have listened to Beatle music whether it be as a group or as solo artists. I was even proud of Paul McCartney when he made an appearance on the Howard Stern Show....Don't get me wrong, I cannot stand Howard Stern and I do not watch his show...I was channel surfing one day and as I passed through I saw that Howard had Ozzy Osbourne on...I paused only because I like Ozzy's music (his show is another one that I wouldn't have given you 2 cents for though!)...Ozzy and his wife Sharon were talking and it appeared that Ozzy was on some kinda drug...he was unkempt and slurring his words...a total embarrassment!...Howard then made the statement that Paul McCartney was backstage as his next guest and wanted to know if Ozzy wanted to meet him...Of course Ozzy said yes and mentioned that he had never met McCartney before. When they went backstage there was Paul and his entourage. Paul was so neat and handsome, looking like a model for a fashion magazine! Ozzy shook his hand and hugged him. At that moment I wondered what I ever found interesting at all about Ozzy (even his music)...but I was so proud of Paul!...That little story leads me now back to...My son Lennon, knowing who he was named after has developed an intense love for the Beatles...He knows too that the song "If I Fell" was the song I used to sing both boys to sleep with. Now he listens constantly to the Beatles...and my old video tape of "A Hard Day's Night" has been played to death. He plays "If I Fell" constantly and I have to sing along. He has a John Lennon figure that I actually have had to have a few conversations with....I have had to watch all the documentaries that come on TV in spite of the fact that I have seen them all before....many times...Bless his heart!!! I know it's all new to him but from time to time I need a rest...The name Lennon, for me, doesn't bring up a picture of John first when I hear it mentioned brings on a picture of a little boy whose interest in his favorites is so intense that it can be likened to the most major obsession you have ever encountered...I wish I could dwell on some things as intensely as that!!...But for just a while...let me have just a few Beatle moments from time to time...For everyone...there was life after Beatles! to all..Ringo...I mean, Jeff

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

What gets Daddy through!

There's talk of snow tonight and the temperature keeps dropping. This means that I am going to have to resort to extreme measures to get me through this night. Time to call on my personal panacea....Asiana's Hot Sour Soup!...Strange isn't it how some things in this world can help you get through most anything. My problem is that most of them are food!...This is partially due to heredity!...I swear it!!...My father's side of the family were big eaters often but one lone Aunt Ethel seemed to do a majority of the cooking (and she was a good one!)...She told me one time that she loved for me to come there and eat because I enjoyed eating so much!...Bless her heart!...Thrill for her...Kill for there was my mother's side of the family...They always had an excuse to eat...and they had many wonderful cooks! I will never forget going to my Aunt Hazel's house one time and she asked me" Gary and Alan are having a cheese sandwich...please may I make you one Jeff?"...I was used to a cheese sandwich being a slice of cheese between 2 slices of bread (of course I always added mayonnaise to it...and anything else I ate too!)...When she handed it to me I swear the cheese was at least 5 slices thick!...Don't think I ever tasted the bread!, we always used to have Christmas parties and all the good cooks in the family produced an endless amount of goodies...then there were the Sandlin family reunions every year and here came the food again!..When we gathered at my grandparent's house (my Pap and Mama Pinky) if it was a Sunday especially...the family cooks fixed, we ate, and all of us left way too full!...I watched many times, listened as they exchanged recipes, and sorted through what I really loved of it all and this peaked my interest in cooking which I became fair at and fatter because of. I think back often of what my sons are going to miss out on as they grow up.....the good cooks and the togetherness of family gatherings...if only I could put them there in my memories. Anyway...they have to get used to what gets Daddy through!...and tonight that's Sweet and Sour Asiana...some other family's good cooks!...Take care and love to all-Jeff-

Monday, January 15, 2007

School- Cycle of Love and Hate

You never seem to appreciate school until you have kids. All through your school days you look forward to the day you graduate. Entering the job market or college excites you because you've become so independent and you feel so cool. Shortly thereafter you are introduced to reality...THIS ALL TAKES WORK!!! All of a sudden you kinda miss high school and having so few responsibilities. Alas! One cannot turn bac time so you resign yourself to the fact that you'll be working towards something...forever! You become accustomed to it...You even find a field or job you enjoy. Then for some unexplained reason you find yourself feeling that your life would be complete if you had children! The cycle begins are excited, you feel it's so cool to see something living that you helped create. Sometime later reality sets in again....IT TAKES WORK!!! All of a sudden again you kinda miss high school and having so few responsibilities. Once again, realizing that you cannot turn back time, you resign yourself to the fact that you'll be working towards something...forever! This time around though....when your children reach school age, you become schools biggest fan. You are grateful for time to be with your kids but you are equally grateful for some time away from them and with school in session you have a small part of that time. School then becomes one of those love/hate relationship love it when it's hate it when it's closed! Now we have arrived at my present state of mind....Today is a holiday!...School is not in session and I hate it!...but you wouldn't believe how good I really am at Monopoly! Move your me rent!....mortage that railroad! are ya glad school is out? to all...(these guys are great! They actually team up to try and defeat me! That's a good thing!)...Jeff

Friday, January 12, 2007

Pain is a Fact of Life Here

Those of you who either know me or read the ramblings of this blog know my physical state. I am constantly in pain but some days are worse than others. You can tell the degree many times by my postings. Oft times it's a safe bet that if I am not posting here daily then my absence is due to a great deal of pain. Yesterday was a day of great pain. I have been told before that all my ailments and pains have been of my own doing. That's a pretty ignorant way of putting it. I know of few people in this world that desire pain so much that they actually invite it. I think that person meant that I have all these things wrong with me either because of my failure to take care of myself properly or my chosen lifestyle produced it. The truth is that I certainly haven't taken proper care of myself over the years (most people don't or could've done a better job of it) and I am sure this has contributed a great deal to my present state. This doesn't account for all of it though. If you were familiar with the entirety of my condition you would have to give a lot of credit to heredity as well. I won't go into a list of all that is wrong with me as the list would be too long and there is part of my condition that no one need know of for now. My lifestyle certainly hasn't helped to make me healthier and I can freely discuss some of that lifestyle now that I have achieved an understanding of truth and maturity. In my younger days I did all the the things that I now live in fear of my children doing. I am grateful that my mother and father were never quite aware of the depth of my stupidity and that they didn't suffer the worst (many parents do) consequences of that stupidity. To begin with, I did my experimentation with drugs. I went beyond just experimenting with them. I did alot of them. There's hardly a narcotic or hallucinogen that I didn't do. I tried everything that came along. I am not proud of this at all though much of it served to educate me on many levels. I was sexually active at a young age and it led me to places I never should have gone and the same behavior these days has killed many people. I am not proud of that either. I drank alcohol, smoked cigarettes, and I associated with the wrong people many, many times. I confess to all this for several reasons. The main reason is in keeping with the theme of this posting. I know that my lifestyle too has contributed to my condition and pain. When you talk about the state of any human in this material world you also have to consider that ones choices, be they good or bad, might also be allowed to take place (and may even be planned) to bring about the purpose in that souls earthly state. I make no excuses for my condition...I ask for no pity...I place none of my responsibilities on anyone else...I ask no one for help, at most I only desire their understanding, to a degree. I have lived a full life and have been gifted with two of the greatest gifts that my creator has to offer. I would give up my life with no hesitation for these two gifts and I am doing all I can to assure that these gifts are returned to Christ in the best condition I can. I am not always right and the human aspect of my existence reeks havoc on my souls progression but I continue to work on it. I cannot and will not give up. In's not what you've brought upon yourself that really matters, it's whether you've used what you've brought upon yourself to progress or regress. Love to all-Jeff

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Love the Snow...Hate the Snow Days!

I hate it when it snows! I take that back....I don't hate it...well, I guess it depends on the day of the week. Snow on weekdays I hate and snow on weekends I love. There's a different feeling you get and I'm not sure but I think it stems from days of youth when snow meant no school and gave you the opportunity for different activities to do outdoors (all of them messy!). When you grow up and have children you find that still holds true. School is out and there are still those messy activities. The only difference now is that you dread to see that snow fall, no matter how intoxicating! My boyz are having a blast and I continue to have minor stroke symptoms. They have waited in anticipation for a snow day off since Halloween (a day that is their sign of winter approaching). My morning-afternoon job shifts from maid/cook/organizer/chauffeur to maid/cook/organizer/chauffeur/referee/recreation director/judge/doctor/whipping boy....anyway you get the picture! Ok you are thinking "So how does he have time to write here?". Well, it's taken me years to develop a structure for these kinds of days that will allow me to do that. It ain't easy! Sometimes nature gives me a break! Today's snow is almost gone (it's 1 pm) and I can run them outdoors for sure. I used to have a problem getting them outside and off playstation. That was before I came up with the idea of flipping the main breaker off for a few minutes and curse the power company for allowing it to happen. As soon as they go through the door I flip it back on. That works really well unless they forget something and come back in to get it. Ah yes! Survival depends on using the creative resource of the brain. Things like that have been more difficult to do since they uncovered my Christmas day early clean-up plan. Since they always had Christmas at 2 places (my home and my ex's) I would tell them that Santa was coming a day early so he could come on the regular Christmas Eve at my ex's). This way they opened their presents here...I got everything picked up...and Christmas Day I could kick back and enjoy some peace and quiet. They grew up and discovered that I was Santa so that blew my early Christmas routine. Guess they'll grow up more soon and start checking the breaker box to see what's happening there. Oh well! Creativity seems to be an on going process. Hope our snow WEEKdays are few and far between! to all....Jeff

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Range of What I Think Is Beauty!

Isn't the internet a wonderful place? There you can find most anything you desire to occupy your time. Since becoming disabled a few years back, the internet allows me to travel cheaply. I can go anywhere in the world practically. I can view images, web cams, chat with people in distant lands, and catch the news in all places. One of the biggest problems in finding a person with which to enjoy a serious relationship with has been the wide range of my likes and dislikes. Did I just hear you say "Hey, that should make it easier to have something in common with someone!"?...One would think so, however, having such a wide range of enjoyment means that I am less settled with someone who has a more narrow range (and so very many do!). Musically, I may one minute enjoy heavy metal rock and roll, the next minute I am thrilled by a classical music piece featuring a cello. Artistically, I may consider a work of graffiti in the same awe as I would a work by Monet (my favorite artist!). My favorite comedy may be anything the Monty Python guys do, yet I laugh just as loudly at a corny line in an old Hee Haw. My children think of me as cool just as often as they think of me as ancient because of the range. The pictures here will show you 2 places I consider absolutely beautiful! ...In conclusion, I have no idea why you should even care about any of this but the whole idea of me blogging these things I think of is in the hope that someone, somewhere, may can assist me with the mental illness I am developing....and give me peace...or a doughnut!....Now that's where I am off to....Love to all...Jeff

Monday, January 08, 2007

Meetings at School

Having children with ADHD presents many problems most of which involve school. Both of my children have a tendency to scare me to death each time progress reports come out but they always seem to pull up their grades by report card time. I can't always depend on that happening though and sooner or later the worst is bound to happen (that too goes hand in hand with ADHD). Organizational skills come very slowly. My oldest is constantly misplacing his PE uniform consequently I end up buying a couple just to get him through the year and now label them all with the name "Crisp" and not add his first initial just in case my younger son has the same problem. I call it a generic PE uniform. Their papers (if they remember to bring them) are often in a wad and appear to have been the target of some kind of military action and I know not what the stains are from! They have agendas to write down homework assignments in too but either fail to write some of them down or just forget the entire agenda at school. Many are the days that I remain in the parking lot waiting as they return into the school to retrieve items while all the other kids are picked up. I am told that this all is a familiar part of raising ADHD children shared by many other parents. Though the thought of that makes me feel as though I am not alone it doesn't aid me in figuring out how to counter and correct such things. I have come to the conclusion that all I can do is continue to try new ways of helping them and bide my time until they reach an age when they will be able to make their own way and thereby total experience will be their best teacher. Only then will I be able look up at the sky from my dumpster beside the pharmacy and manage an alcoholic drug induced smile as I belch a hearty "Good morning!" to the world at 4:00 in the afternoon. Children will do this to a parent like myself....I need no convincing of that.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Studying More These days

When a person has time on their hands that has to be used or lost, that person also renders himself/herself open to possible mental illness. This is comparable to the plight of the postal worker. How often have we heard of a postal worker going "mental" and engaging in some violent act. Obviously there is too much time to think there. After sorting mail for a while one could probably do it in their sleep. When you are a postal worker though, you aren't able to spend that thought time researching anything on the internet or read a book. All you have is time to reflect on your own set of circumstances and the stupid mistakes that people make with their mail can't possibly help. Keeping this in mind, when my health confines me to the house (chair, bed, whatever!) I try to spend that time in constructive study. I spend a good bit of time in world religions trying connect the dots out to come to a rational conclusion on why we exist in the first place and the purpose for our existence. At present I have immersed myself in the study of a denomination of Hinduism known as Vaishnavism. Interestingly enough there is much there that compares to many things found in my own Christian religion. I still consider myself to be Christian because I do believe that Jehovah has walked among us and that Jesus was one of the times that he did. Anyway the study I am doing has a way of calming me as opposed to postal violence provocation. As I study though I end up with so very many questions that I note and try to discover the answer to. They always lead me to the question "Jeff, Are you mentally ill or what?" Perhaps...but violence takes too much energy and pain coupled with study in nonviolent things makes me mental in a non threatenting to all....Jeff

Saturday, January 06, 2007

I am back! The natives are restless!

Sorry for such a huge gap in my postings! I attempted to blog on another site but that didn't work out so well. I'll begin 2007 here and hope to show you where I am in the world as we know it and keep you abreast of my position in such. Right now the boyz are just rising and I must go and begin my weekend day job as referee/cook/game player lest a riot develop and I have to don my riot gear for my K.U.S.I.C.S. (Kids Under Satanic Influence Crackdown Squad) job. Love to all! Will post more tomorrow!