An earlier time

An earlier time
My autographed "Bobby Seale" copy

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Music Again!....well almost!

Anyone that knows me very well knows my distractions...the greatest being music. I nearly went into cardiac arrest (evidenced in a previous post!) when I found a legal download site that had full albums as low as 72 cents or you could pull any song off the albums as low as 10 cents apiece! They also gave me 100 free songs when I signed up. Now after sinking to a new, lower level of poverty I have been downloading free downloads from many websites of unsigned artists. Using a very selective process I have found so much wonderful music! Many of these artists should have a recording contract. Much of the small amount of time I actually spend on the computer anymore is spent amassing one amazing library (and backup!) from around the world of sounds and styles that I love!...It appears to be my only form of release at the present! The parent/s of ADHD children need some form of release and I am saving the serial killer thing for my enjoyment in later life should I be fortunate enough to live that! Headphones come in handy on those bad mornings when I awake at 3:30 AM and have to sit up to ease the pain and these type of mornings occur more frequently of late. Besides, it affords me some form of entertainment until my body loosens up enough for me to be able to position my signaling device outside in hopes that the beings of my home planet will one day home in and rescue me from Earths gravitational pull and thereby reverse the damage it has caused to my body.
I can't help but feel guilty for not posting more here but music is also a release, my major distraction, and my hearing needs to be used often before it deteriorates with the rest of that unfortunate mass that is me. Love to all and I am truly sorry that your planet seems to be deteriorating at the same rate....Jeff...or as my homeboys call me...kinutuplee

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

First Dance

Isn't it wonderful when your children reach certain milestones, especially ones that you remember reaching yourself? My son Zak came in excitedly yesterday and handed me a pair of pants and a shirt and said "You need to wash these Daddy, I need to wear them to the dance!" When I inquired as to what dance where and when, he proceeded to tell me that a friend of his in the neighborhood had set him up with her girlfriend at a different school to go to the dance with her. "She sounds nice Daddy, I talked to her on the phone!" He added,"You know girls talk on the phone an awful lot!" Oh the world of discovery begin! After a period of silence watching TV he looked at me and asked,"You aren't going to make fun of me are you Daddy?" "No way! I think it's great!" was my reply. And I do. I want every transition and experience in life to be fantastic for both my sons. This is his first inning in a lifelong ball game and win or lose in the end I want him to enjoy the game. He is beginning to care about his appearance and desires to make a good impression. I have been waiting for the day to come that he would do just that. It makes all the hardships of raising children worthwhile when you experience something like that! I also let out a sigh of relief that he is interested in members of the opposite sex in a normal, healthy fashion. I feel as if there is a different feeling between us too and it uplifts my heart to know that he is willing to ask for my help and advice.
First dances can be great and I remember my own. I only hope he enjoys the total experience at least half as much as I did!...Love to all....Jeff

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Designated Assignments

I am convinced that children have designated assignments as they go through the stages of life. Furthermore it seems that having more than one child causes them to work in shifts to insure that a parent experiences as much hardship and pain as is humanly possible. That also applies to joy and happiness although it depends on the perception. My children have become experts in terrorism excelling in torture tactics and demolition. They derive their joy and happiness at times in using their "gifts" to bring their dad to the brink of a stroke or, at the least, a nervous breakdown. If one child slips up, begins following the rules by giving it his best, and making Dad happy, the other child picks up the slack by utilizing all the torture tactics in his repertoire to counter Dad's happiness! Case in point....Lennon has normally given me the most problems in school to deal with. The problems are varied...behavior, reading comprehension, math processes etc. but not all at the same time or during the same year. Until our move east Zak was an A/B Honor Roll student. This year in particular, Lennon is progressing satisfactorily but Zak.....AAAAARRRGGGGHHH!....MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!....He has become Mr. Know-it-all (yet knows little!)....Mr. Mouth....Mr. Uncooperative....Mr. I-Am-Way-Too-Cool....Mr. I-Don't-Like-It-So-I'll-Just-Forget-It. The only mark so far as to his favor (if you want to put it like that!) is that the school personnel in an oversight did not give him his medication at school for the first 20 days. Now I am left to wade through the mess and must help get this wonderful little boy back on track. I have encorporated the help of his doctor and staff and we're going to get the problem solved. This is only one case among many.
Being a parent is the most difficult job I have ever had and I am determined to do it to the best of my ability. I only hope that soon the law of averages will kick in and give me a break with both of them performing wonderfully at the same time. It sure seems as if their assignments are designated and designed to keep me busy for years to to all.....Jeff

Saturday, October 08, 2005

The Cycle of the Ages

Man!...What is a supposed semi-intelligent human being supposed to think in light of recent happenings?...Is this actually a "cycle of the ages" coming to a close and another beginning? Or is our dear planet Earth wearing out from the stresses and strains we've put on it?...I happen to believe that this is the final dawning of the earth as predicted by many religions especially the Christian. Think about it!...One of the signs of the end times are earthquakes, floods, and famines and those that have always discounted Christianity have said that we have always had earthquakes, floods, and famines, so that particular sign is not a major consideration as to the truth of the religion. Seems to me that the disasters of late indicate that perhaps this was the actual type of changes Christ was referring to. Probably the single most indication to me of the validity of Christianity has been that of it's followers. Keep in mind that this is only my personal observation and interpretation!
I look at those closest to Christ...his disciples...Christ had died and in spite of his instructions one must consider the following..If Christ was dead and the disciples still alive human instinct for survival would have been the recourse for those he left other words, had there been any doubt whatsoever that he was who he said he was and that his words were true then the smartest thing the disciples could have done was to survive through any means at their denying their association with him (those that were with him were hunted individuals) or by fleeing. Not one of them would speak out against him after his resurrection and if you consult known historical documents especially "Fox's Book of Martyrs" you will find that all except one met a violent death as they still professed him to be the Messiah and his words true. Some will argue..."But look at Jim Jones and the ones that took poison for him in Guyana." Ok...true....BUT....that was a mass suicide whereas the disciples were standing alone over a period of years. I'm sure that there are some that would love to debate the point but it is one of the things that convince me.
These recent disasters are shocking to all of us that have grown up believing that such things could not possibly occur in modern times. They have certainly in the least alerted us to the fragile position we all occupy and should cause us to reflect on what is truly important in life and the degree to which we should savor each day of our existence. Whether it is the normal cycle of the ages in the growth and evolution of our planet or God's way of bringing a cleansing to his creation, suffice it to say that man must now acknowledge his lack of control and open his mind to the possibilities. Love to all....Jeff

Monday, October 03, 2005

All Things Are Temporary

One of the drawbacks of aging is truly understanding the meaning of the word "temporary". Each day as we grow older we experience not only the temporary physical states of hair, muscle control, eyesight, hearing, and memory but environmental ones as well. Weather, seasons, friends, homes, good, evil... Everything becomes temporary! When you have children, these temporary things (all of them!) become more apparent since you now have constant reminders of that temporariness.
Ah! Yes!...You hear all your life that children keep you young and living! Then why are you constantly feeling old and dying while raising them? The secret is understanding that word "temporary". I used to struggle with getting children to be able to feed, dress, bathe, and go to the bathroom on their own. Those struggles had me feeling so drained at times both physically and mentally but they all were temporary. Now before you get the impression that I feel better realizing that fact let me burst your bubble! Those temporary struggles are replaced by OTHER temporary struggles as children age too! Do you see where this is going?....Right!...I stated earlier that the secret is understanding the word "temporary". Here's that understanding...Since everything is temporary and is replaced by other temporary things then feeling better through it all has to be the acceptance of the futility of worry at the beset of each temporary replacement. For those of you who just read that and come to the conclusion that I have absolutely too much time on my hands and some kind of mental disorder let me sum it up simply. For me it is not enough to tell me not to worry because I have no reason to worry. I am the type of person that has to convince myself through my own system of observation, thought, logic, and testing before accepting the fact. It is my curse and each of us have curses, which brings me to my new temporary state of contemplation....If all things are truly temporary then sanity becomes an issue on a daily basis and perhaps I can dismiss my mistakes simply by saying...I ain't right! (For you "Northern" folk among us that translates to "Jeff's just not right in the head!")...Love to all..."If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" - Steven Wright.....As if you didn't have enough to wonder about today....Jeff